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Messages - Nikomertitsa

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I had one chance to make this work.If I blew it, then the rest of this visit was going to be an armed camp, and we needed to be solving the crime, not fighting each other.But let me ask you the same question.Would you follow me if Edward put me in charge?I came down here to solve a crime and I'm going to do that.If that means at some point taking orders from you, so be it.If Edward puts me in charge of you, and you don't like it, take it up with him.I don't give a damn what you think of me.He leaned towards me trying to use his height to intimidate.It was impressive, but I've been the smallest kid around for as long as I can remember. 
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I will take it up with you.Or don't you have the balls to stand up to me?I think he meant to grope me, but I didn't wait to see.I threw myself backward into the floor and was drawing the Browning before my butt hit the floor.Drawing the gun meant I didn't have time to slap my hands down and take the impact the way you were supposed to.I hit hard and felt the shock all the way up my spine.He'd drawn a blade as long as his forearm from somewhere.The blade was coming down, and the Browning wasn't quite pointed at his chest.It would be a race to see who drew first blood, but it was almost a guarantee that we'd both bleed.Everything slowed down to that crystalline vision, as if I had all the time in the world to point the gun, to avoid the blade, and at the same time everything was happening too fast.

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I would never endanger you.I have complete control over my beast.It's what being an alpha wolf means.It would have been more comforting if his teeth hadn't been just a little pointier than usual.Pale chunks of granite formed the walls.The trim was white, the roof shingles pale grey.The door was white as well.It was clean, neat, and still managed to be rustic.It sat in a clearing at the top of the mountain.The road stopped at his house. 
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There was a turnaround but the road didn't go past.Richard rang the bell.He looked very relieved to see us.He's managed to hold on to human form so far, but I don't think he can last much longer.We walked in and found two strange men sitting in his living room.The man to the left was short, dark, and had wire-framed glasses on.The other man was taller, blond, with a reddish beard.They were the only things that didn't match the decor.The entire living room was white—carpet, couch, two chairs, walls.It was like standing in the middle of a vanilla ice-cream cone.

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There were two doors leading out of the stone room, one straight ahead and one to the right.Music floated through the one in front of us.High, bright circus music.The door opened, and the music boiled around us.There was a glimpse of bright colors and hundreds of people milling about.A sign flashed, “Fun house.I knew where I was.Circus of the Damned.The city's most powerful vampires slept under the Circus.It was something to remember. 
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The door started to shut, dimming the music, cutting off the bright signs.I looked into the eyes of a teenage girl, who was straining to see around the doorway.The door clicked shut.A man leaned against the door.He was tall and slender, dressed like a riverboat gambler.Royal purple coat, lace at the neck and down the front, straight black pants and boots.A straight-brimmed hat shaded his face, and a gold mask covered everything but his mouth and chin.Dark eyes stared at me through the gold mask.His tongue danced over his lips and teeth: fangs, a vampire.Why didn't that surprise me?

He'd gotten carried away at my neck, as he had elsewhere.It wasn't like collarbone-scar bad, or even the bend of my arm bad, but it wasn't what the old vamps usually did.It felt like a rookie mistake under the bandages.That made him sit up a little straighter, his arrogance kicking in.It was better than despair.And you're right that I've kicked men out of my life for a hell of a lot less than this.It was like watching the light fade from him.I'm just trying to talk.It was Remus who found a pitcher of water and a little cup.He poured it, then hesitated, and finally handed it to Asher.         
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The two men had a moment where you could almost feel the battle of wills, then Asher finally took the cup, and came to the bed.He would not look at me as he offered the water with a little bendy straw in it.The water tasted stale, but it was cool, and felt wonderful in my mouth and throat.I raised my untaped arm to help hold the cup.My fingers brushed Asher's hand.         
He jumped, as if it had hurt, but I knew it hadn't hurt.Asher took it and dabbed at the few spots he'd gotten on the sheets.My voice sounded better, less hoarse.It made me wonder how long I'd been unconscious.I didn't ask, because if it had been a long time, then Asher would feel worse, and I'd be more scared.I let it go.He finished trying to soak the water up, handing the handkerchief back as if he expected Ixion to simply be there to take it.He was, and he did, but the offhand quality of the gesture made me wonder again how long had I been out.You have made me feel awkward from the moment I met you.I tried to read his expression and failed.           
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Do not forget, Anita, she made certain we knew how to pleasure men, as well.I think he was looking for anything to fuss over, rather than what we were doing.I'd never seen him this uncomfortable.I did what I'd wanted to do since he walked into the room.I laid my hand on his.He went very, very still under my touch.That awful, unnatural stillness, where it feels like you're not touching anything alive.He went away from my touch, but I kept my hand on his.If he thought a little weird vampire shit would make me move, he was wrong.I'm afraid because you almost killed me, and I still want to touch you.   
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He sat down, but he would at least look at me now.I have done what you feared that I would do.I don't think it's just you who's rolled me.I just know that I don't want you gone.I don't want you to never touch me again.   
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You needed someone to put your needs first.It wasn't clear to me.I turned to him.We both got what we wanted most, out of each other.That that's why he never argues with me?That he's under a spell?He looked the same as ever, calm, ready to do what was needed.So practical, so… so everything I needed in a man.He smiled at me.It was too expensive to the people around me to be a smart-ass.         
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Is it all a lie?It's a double-edged sword, remember.It was too complicated for me.I turned back to Jean-Claude.I mean, if this is true, then how could we not have noticed?         
Your Nimir-Raj is the first man you have ever had sex with on first meeting.He is the first man you have ever allowed yourself not to push away, is he not?Damn it, but I couldn't.I turned, and looked at Nathaniel.He gave me a gentle smile, like you'd give someone in the doctor's office who just got bad news.One heart's desire is not the same as another's.By denying him sex, but loving him, you gave him what he wanted most.My back hit the wall.I leaned against it, trying to think, and failing.As my Ligeia's _ardeur_ did.           
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She wouldn't know real love if it bit her on the ass.She knows the art of causing love and devotion, even addiction, in others, without suffering it herself.I felt you see all the way down into my soul, Anita.I felt you caress the deepest pain I own.Belle Morte would have coaxed that pain to life and used it to torment me.You were going to try to heal it.It's all or nothing for me, you should know that by now.I am your master and this is all my fault.I should have seen it.It has made me obsess with you, but there are other things to learn about controlling it.   
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Things I have neglected to teach you.The first few months are a wild thing.I thought she would go mad with it.There was no controlling it.Nathaniel moved in, as if he'd hug me.   
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« on: November 04, 2011, 11:46:52 PM »
Part of me wished I could have, part of me didn't.Will you go back on your word?I think we should use the time we have before it does to plan strategy.This is not a battle of guns and knives.This is battle of a softer sort, though no less dangerous in the end.It wasn't the shaking that was making me bleed a little more, but the fact that my pulse was speeding up.I glanced at him.Later could be very late indeed when she wished to play cruel games.We will show them Requiem's state of mind and tell them you have grown too powerful for such games.What we have seen today and last night proves that pretending will no longer work.         
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Blood was trickling down my throat, like tickling fingers.I was so scared I could taste metal on my tongue.You feed as a vampire feeds, but on sex instead of blood.Without them to draw energy from, when you did not feed the _ardeur_ in a timely fashion, your own body would feel the weakness.The old Master of St.         
Louis wouldn't let you feed the _ardeur_, not completely.The Master of the City that traded me to her feared me, as well.He sent me to Nikolaos because he knew that her child's body would not be something I would willingly seduce.You would simply feed from whomever you wished.You are human, so your use of vampire trickery is not illegal.It's looked on like a date-rape drug.You would not lack for food, if you were willing to feed on strangers.He gave a small smile.In fact, you are the least casual person that I have ever met.So serious, you are, so deadly serious about everything.           
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I looked for Remus.I tried to stop the blood, but my pulse was pushing it out.I couldn't seem to calm myself enough to slow my pulse.So much for the meditation practice I'd been working on.A _pomme_de_sang_ is never meant to be the only food for a vampire.It is more like food you always know is on hand.But it is assumed that the vampire will feed off many humans.You must choose enough food that you are not a danger to others.Your food will have to be chosen even more carefully, and quietly, behind the scenes, from the very few masters I trust.But it would be better to do it now, while we have so many willing princesses for our Prince Charming.   
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Because choose you must, _ma_petite_, choose you must.Nobody wants to piss off their prospective in-laws, that sort of thing.If you can feed from Requiem and not bespell him, then you can free Augustine.But if Requiem is not free, then he, and Augustine, will be like humans that we have let go, but we know that we can call them to us at any time.We take away our mind spell to please the human police, but we know which ones are so deeply ours that we can still whisper through their dreams.   
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Now that I was seeing him, and not just looking at him, I could see that he wasn't unhappy to be nude in front of me.That pissed me off.I ached, my muscles burning, hurt in places that I shouldn't even be able to feel, and he was excited about getting our nude bodies up close and personal.I found I still had a human voice.You need as much skin-to-skin contact as you can get.It was a look I'd never seen from her.What was I missing?What was I not understanding?Something important, by the looks on their faces, but I just didn't want Graham to put his naked, erect body up against my naked body.I did not want to have sex with him, and once we were naked and in bed the odds of that went up.         
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Sure, I was hurt, and I'd supposedly fed the _ardeur_ really well, but call me paranoid, I just didn't want to risk it.But for my last shreds of moral dignity, Graham could have been in the running for daddy-to-be.That, more than anything else, kept my arm straight, and my lips saying no.Claudia said, «You don't understand, it's not over.The wolf had thought it was getting out, getting help, that the pack would help it escape, free it from this prison, but I'd kept the feel of other wolves at bay.         
I'd refused to let them slide wolf scent and skin over my body, so the wolf went back to trying to get out and join them.My arm didn't stay stiff, nothing on me did.I writhed on the bed like a bag of snakes, muscles and tendons moving in ways that should have ripped me apart.My skin should have split, and I almost wanted it to; I wanted the wolf to get out of me.To just stop hurting me.I'd thought the wolf was me; now I thought it was trying to kill me.The smell of wolf was everywhere, thick and nose-wrinkling, sweet musk.My body lay still on the bed while tears leaked down my face, and I whimpered, not wolf sounds, but small, hurt, human ones.I thought I'd hurt before, but I'd been wrong.If you could force someone to feel this forever, they'd tell you anything, do anything, to make it stop.           
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I was lying between Graham and Clay.Their naked bodies were pressed as close as they could get, without putting any of their weight on top of me, as if they knew that that would hurt.They cradled me gently between them, their hands on my head, and on my good shoulder.They touched me as if I'd break, and it felt like they were right.Graham's eyes had bled back to brown.The look on his face was worried.What had they seen that I hadn't?What was happening to me?Clay leaned over, pressed his lips against my cheek, and kissed me, gently.He whispered, «Change, Anita, just let it happen.   
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It won't hurt like this, if you just let it happen.I heard the soft click as the door opened.I wanted to turn and look, but it had hurt the last time I did it.It didn't seem worth it.Besides, Graham's chest was blocking my view in that direction.   
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Until he fed, he'd be small, which meant I could indulge in something that I didn't get to do much.By the time you get most men out of their clothes they're not as small as they can get — no, definitely larger.I was picking up a little French here and there in self-defense.He hesitated at my feet, and I realized he was looking at Micah.I shook my head, and lay back against the pillows.They both shook their heads.I slapped his shoulder.I glanced down at the other two men.They definitely weren't ready to go.I waited to be uncomfortable at the thought of three men and just me with no holds barred on the sex.         
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I waited, but the discomfort didn't come.I lay there and waited to feel overwhelmed, or uncomfortable, but… I just wasn't.I started kissing my way down his body, then thought of something.I looked back at Jean-Claude where he knelt on the bed.If it seemed an odd time for a in-depth talk he didn't complain.         
If we were all completely dominant our happy little domestic situation wouldn't work.I blinked at him for a second or two, then shrugged, and said, «Okay.I used hand and mouth to get both Micah and Nathaniel back to the smooth hardness that they had been before all the soul searching.I didn't want any more soul searching tonight.I wanted to touch and be touched.Sex was the only time I let myself go.Let all the worries, the issues, everything wash away.When I had sex I just concentrated on the sex.It was the only time I was truly in the moment with no hesitation and no other thought.I held them both in my hands.           
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When I'd first tried to play with them both at the same time, I'd found that I couldn't do it.I couldn't concentrate on both hands equally, and when you've got a handful of the most delicate bits on a man's body, you want to be able to concentrate.But practice makes perfect, and I could do it now.I could hold each of them in my hand and stroke and play with them.I'd finally found something I was ambidextrous at.Jean-Claude stayed sitting at the foot of the bed.He made no move to join us.I looked at him, that careful face.He'd made his position clear.He didn't just want to watch.   
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I'd never tried to entertain three of the men at once.Cuddling, blood sharing, but not for sex.I went to him where he sat so still, his back touching the foot of the bed.He'd gone as far away as he could without leaving the bed.Had he thought I would make him watch and not touch him?   
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« on: November 04, 2011, 10:59:27 PM »
The more I argued the more concerned he got.He ordered a series of head X-rays, and I couldn't talk him out of it.I was actually sitting in a wheelchair waiting to be escorted to X-ray when Bernardo came up.He touched the FBI jacket.They put Becca in a room.She's got a cast to her elbow.He disappeared once the monsters were all dead and Ramirez had you in his car.He said something about the job being done.I guess he went back under whatever rock Edward found him under.I am headed for the first open bar.         
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You don't know he's doing anything wrong.Bernardo seemed to think about that for a second, then shook his head.The elevator doors opened and Lieutenant Marks was standing there.Did you hear that part?He just looked at me.         
I moved as if to go towards the buttons.Bernardo caught his clue.He hit Marks in the head with his cast.The man went down, and I hit the door closed button.The doors hushed closed as Bernardo lowered Marks to the floor.He won't chance using Edward's car.The doors opened on the floor that he'd parked on.Serial murderers are very anal when it comes to how the victims are treated.They spend a lot of time planning exactly what they'll do and how.I had to take the Browning out of my pants.           
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The barrel's just too long for sitting down like that.I ended up holding it in my lap.I watched Bernardo drive with his cast-wrapped arm, "You need me to drive?Just tell me where Dallas lives, and I'll drive us.How to explain that we know he was a serial murderer and didn't warn the police sooner.He didn't argue, just leaned across and opened the glove compartment.I got the phone out.She'll know the address.Either way you better get us out of the parking area before Marks wakes up and starts screaming.I dialed information, and the operator was happy to dial The Obsidian Butterfly for me.   
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I knew better than to ask for Itzpapalotl herself, so I asked for Pinotl and told them it was an emergency and it was Anita Blake.I think it was my name that got me through, as if they'd been expecting the call.Pinotl came on the line with his rich voice.They'd shoot your werejaguars on sight.I know I'm alive now because she helped me.   
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« on: November 04, 2011, 10:56:41 PM »
I knew how to grapple, but not with something that was slick and skinless.There was nothing to grab onto.It picked me up by my shirt, the other hand under my thigh, and dead lifted me like a barbell.I hit the wall as though it had tried to throw me through it.I tried to protect myself, but I slid to the floor, stunned, unable to breathe or think for a space of heartbeats.It knelt beside me, tearing my shirt out of my pants, baring my stomach and my bra.It put a hand under my back and lifted me almost gently, bowing my back, raising me up, and lowering its face towards my bare flesh, as if it meant to kiss me.I heard a voice in my head.It whispered, "I hunger.I raised my hand and almost didn't feel like it was mine.         
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But I moved it.I caressed that slick, fleshless face.And it rolled those strange lidless eyes up at me as it lowered its mouth to feed.My thumb slid along the flesh, feeling, feeling for the eye.It didn't stop me.         
It bit into my upper stomach, as my thumb slid into its eye.It reared back, dropping me to the floor.It was a short fall, and I was on my knees, edging away from it when the first bullet whirled it around.Ramirez came down the hallway from the direction of the fire stairs, firing in a two-handed stance as he advanced down the hall.The body jerked, but the wounds were closing faster and faster, as if the more we shot it, the better the flesh was at healing the damage.I expected the thing to attack Ramirez or me, or escape, but it didn't.It leaped into the broken window of the nursery.And I knew what it meant to do.It wasn't trying to escape.It was trying to take as many lives as it could before we destroyed it.           
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Its master was feeding off the deaths.Ramirez went to the door that I'd tried earlier.I left him banging against it with his shoulder.I pulled myself up to the window.It was tearing the blanket off of another baby, like unwrapping a present.I didn't know where my guns were.I had nothing left to throw at it.It turned in silhouette, and the baby was grabbing for the air with tiny matchstick arms.The monster's mouth widened showing a mouth already red with blood.Ramirez had gotten the door open enough to slip inside.   
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He shot at its legs and lower body, afraid to try a head shot so close to the baby.The monster ignored him, and everything slowed down to a crystalline crawl.The face lowered, mouth wide to take that tiny heart.I screamed, and I put all my rage, all my helplessness into that shout.I pulled that power that let me raise the dead, I pulled it around me like a shining thing and flung it outward.   
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« on: November 04, 2011, 10:53:51 PM »
He was six foot one, broad-shouldered, with high-sculpted cheekbones, and a wide soft mouth.There was a dimple in his chin, and he was altogether too handsome.His eyes were still perfect chocolate brown; only the pain in them was new.His hair fell in thick waves around his shoulders, a brown so full of gold and copper highlights that there should have been a different word for it.Brown is a dull word, and his hair was not dull.I'd loved running my hands through his hair, grabbing fistfuls of it when we kissed.He was wearing a blood-red tank top that left his muscular shoulders and arms bare.I knew that every inch of him you could see, and what you could not, was tanned a nice soft brown.But it wasn't really tanned, just his natural skin color.My heart was beating in my throat, but it wasn't fear.         
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He stared at me in the black dress.Face scrubbed clean of makeup, my hair uncombed, and I felt his body react to the sight of me.I felt it like a twist in my own body.I had to close my eyes to keep from looking at his jeans to see if what I was feeling was visible.When I opened my eyes, he hadn't moved.         
He just stood there in the middle of the room, hands balled into fists, breathing a little too hard.His eyes were wild, showing too much white like a horse about to bolt.I found my voice first.It was like I could feel Richard's heart, his chest rising and falling, like it was my own.I'd had moments of this with Jean-Claude, but never with Richard.If we'd still been seeing each other, it would have been intriguing.Now, it was just confusing.He relaxed his hands, flexing them, fighting not to make fists.Keeping us from getting too close until we were ready.I didn't believe him, until now.           
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Is that all it is to you, Anita?Answer your own damn question.He pressed his palms together until his arms trembled with the effort and the muscles corded, straining against his skin all the way up to his shoulders.I felt him withdraw from me.Though that doesn't cover how it felt.It was like he built a wall between us.He was raising mental shields between us.I hadn't thought to try.The sight and feel of him in my mind had turned me into a pulsing hormone.It was too embarrassing for words.   
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I watched his body relax, a muscle at a time, until he opened his eyes, slowly, almost sleepily, his body quiet, at peace.I'd never been that good at meditation.He lowered his arms and looked at me.It was either control it or run screaming.The silence was uncomfortably thick.   
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John Burke had not returned my call.Maybe I'd been too clever.I'd try a more blunt message later.But right at this moment I had more pleasant things to worry about.I was dressed for jogging.Dark blue shorts with white piping, white Nikes with pale blue swishes, cute little jogging socks, and tank top.The shorts were the kind with one of those inside pockets that shut with Velcro.Inside the pocket was a derringer.An American derringer to be exact; 6.A Velcro pocket was not conducive to a fast draw.         
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Two shots and spitting would be more accurate at a distance, but then Gaynor's men didn't want to kill me.Hurt me, but not kill me.They have to get in close to hurt me.Close enough to use the derringer.Of course, that was just two shots.         
After that, I was in trouble.I had tried to figure out a way to carry one of my 9mms, but there was no way.I could not jog and tote around that much firepower.Veronica Sims was standing in my living room.Ronnie is five-nine, blond hair, grey eyes.She is a private investigator on retainer to Animators, Inc.We also work out together at least twice a week unless one of us is out of town, injured, or up to our necks in vampires.Those last two happen more often than I would like.She was wearing French-cut purple shorts, and a T-shirt that said, "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.           
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She knows funerals are not my best thing.Most people hate funerals because of the dead.I hate all the emotional shit.She was stretching long legs parallel to her body, low on the floor.In a sort of stretching crouch.We always warm up in the apartment.Most leg stretches were never meant to be done while wearing short shorts.I mirrored her movement.The muscles in my upper thighs moved and protested.The derringer was an uncomfortable but endurable lump.   
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She just looked at me, disgust plain in her eyes.It looked like we were going to roll a ball across the floor.When I was done, we were limbered and ready to run.Zombies in your apartment and a mad millionaire after you to perform human sacrifices.I locked my door behind us and put my keys in the pocket along with the derringer.   
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« on: November 04, 2011, 01:59:54 PM »
My grandmother, both my parents, even my great-grandfather said the same thing.They met that special person, and no one else existed after that.I don't believe that there's only one special person for your whole life's happiness.I shook my head.Just because I like you?Just because I asked you out?It was my turn to shrug.It ain't going nowhere.Whatever I decide, it's between the two guys I have waiting for me back home.I think I've been looking around for someone else, anyone else.         
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But it's no good.Love should make you happy, Anita.Trust me, the guys at home will back me on it.You are setting yourself up for the big fall, Hernando.I smiled and shook my head.         
I wish you luck finding your Ms.Ramirez asked, "Does she really get out today, Doctor?They both looked at me.Funny how quickly people caught onto certain aspects of my personality.Ramirez walked out shaking his head, giving the doctor and me some privacy.Cunningham poked and prodded, and finally just ran his hands over my back.It was nearly healed.I've treated lycanthropes before, Ms.Blake, and you're healing almost that fast.The bite was pale pink, settling into a nice ordinary scar, only weeks ahead of schedule.           
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I wondered if the scar would eventually disappear, or if it would be another permanent one.I even snuck some of your blood down to the genetics department and had them look for something not human.He smiled and it was warmer than it should have been.No, I won't believe human.If it was something I could teach you to use on other people, I'd tell, but it's not that kind of thing.You might call the healing a bonus for some other less pleasant shit that I put up with.You'd never have survived the original injuries if you'd been human.I'm glad to be nearly healed.I'm glad it didn't take months to recover.What more do you want me to say?   
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I'll tell Detective Ramirez that he can tell you about the case now and that you are getting out today.Try to stay healthy.He has the right to use his resources as he sees fit.The men assigned to the case are one of those resources.He decided that I was best used at the police property room going over the items that we've confiscated from the victim's homes, and matching them to the pictures and video we have of some of the houses before the murders.   
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